Review: Only A Woman Can Take This Sort of Abuse by Ed Greenwood

 It has been a minute since reviewing a Spin a Yarn tale by Ed Greenwood. Like the previous two, this was a tale written by Ed Greenwood after attendees at Gen Con gave outlandish suggestions.

This one is divided into two parts and is quite long. They were released in December 2003 and January 2004, respectively. Read parts 1 and 2. 

the picture on the original article

This one starts really comical, as Manshoon, Lord of the Zhentarim, wakes up not remembering exactly what happened. He knows he was lured by the Seven Sisters and he awakes dressed as a “saucy tavern wench”. When leaving the bedroom he finds Volo dresses in a corset and proceeds to try to murder the traveling writer and wizard. 

The Seven Sisters mean to trap someone and disguise it as a revel. Volo is present because he is writing his guide to Catering. We learn this is at a cabin on the Dragon Coast. 

Aravil Kettlesworth is the cook in a less than efficient and clean kitchen. He is a dwarf and all the others are followers of Loviater, goddess of pain. Their leader seems to be a priestess named Roreldra who is literally whipping frosting onto a cake. Or welol, she is the spiritual leader; Kettlesworth Fine Feasts is of course led by the dwarf.

There is a short conversation on how to cook tarrasque so it is safe to eat. Around this comes an aged paladin of Tyr with a sapient sword capable of loving some on its own, one eager to protect supposed innocents.

The story introduces Elminster in part 2, and we get a proper explanation (or showing) of how Manshoon and Volo get where they are at the start. It’s very fun, maybe a tad long. I’d say it’s a Good one and of course free to enjoy.

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You can track my current progress here.

Review: The Simbul’s Gift by Lynn Abbey

The Simbul's Gift is a standalone novel that falls into the spot of book 5 in The Nobles series. Like many Forgotten Realms series (Lost Empires, for example), these books have a loose theme but are written by different authors about different places and people in Faerun. This story is, unsurprisingly, about The Simbul. I believe this is one of two novels that Lynn Abbey (best known for coedited the Thieves' World anthologies) contributed to the Realms, the other being The Nether Scroll in the previously mentioned Lost Empires series.

Alassra Shentranta Silverhand, Witch-Queen of Aglarond, one of the seven sisters, Chosen of  Mystra-the Goddess of Magic. Quite a character, huh? For those less aware of the Realms characters that appear often and with great power, Alassra, generally called the Simbul, is not really mortal as she doesn’t age. She was raised in Rashemen by the witches there, specifically the witch Oraumae. She is the sixth sister but the most powerful in the Arcane Art (as opposed the Divine variant).  We get a short introduction of her history, and chapter one is set in 1365 DR but most of the story is set in 1368 DR. 

I have yet to read it, but I believe we get more of her history in the short story "In the Bleak Deepwinter" from Dragon 242. I will be reviewing it soon.

We get a great contrast of the Yuirwood elven settlements and the grand capital of Velprintalar, showcasing the lack of homogeneity in Aglarond. The Yuir elves have a deity unique to them, which fits with the verisimilitude since the real world was like that, Zandilar who is sort of Hanali Celanil and Sune mixed with Sharess, she is a goddess of lust basically. In this wood is Ebroin, shortered to Bro, who owns a horse known as Zandilar’s Dancer. He is one of our characters beside The Simbul.

There are also some red wizards of Thay that are important, not surprising knowing their foreign tendencies and closeness to Aglarond. The two countries are often at war, trading territory in their disputes. This makes for a fun conflict, but what Abbey always excels at is her character work. I think you would be hard pressed to find any other author of speculative fiction with such realistic and well put-together characters. 

Which means it is quite a treat to have Abbey write a novel about such an important and beloved character. The cha’tel’quessir and their gods feel so authentic and make this one of the Forgotten Realms stories with the most verisimilitude. It feels so real! Not to mention this cool thing, I won't spoil, that explains the origin of Alassra's title. It is very, very cool.

If this sounds like the novel for you, it is not a terrible place to start. Some do not like the character focus, background plot, that Abbey presents, but I think fans of the Seven Sisters will truly enjoy this novel. For me, it is Exceptional. You can watch my YouTube review here.

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You can track my current progress here.